Fearless Fabulous Project

It’s Monday and you want to jump out of your skin. By the time Friday rolls around, you tender murderous thoughts toward your colleagues or boss. The wear and strain of dragging yourself to your current workplace each day is akin to the dread of a dentist drill.

Aside from the ever-present need to earn sufficient money to support your commitments and lifestyle, often our professional identity and presence in the world is tied up in our definition of “work” as well as where and for whom we do it.
The bottom line can be assessed with two questions. Will the path you are on eventually lead to personal satisfaction and pride in your efforts? Are you good enough–or could you apply yourself more seriously and consistently to become good enough–to meet your definition of contribution and reward?

Tearing You Down Instead of Building You Up

Instead of growing professionally and finding opportunity in the projects and responsibilities presented to you, are you feeling like your skills are getting stale or that you may be falling behind technology and current business thinking?

Assess what is available to you and whether with a bit of effort you could make more of the time you invest in your job. Are there additional resources you could tap? Can you meet with your boss to consider a redefinition of your role and daily tasks? Does your employer have other positions you could move to laterally if not up the ladder?

You are responsible for how you feel. You also bear the weight of responsibility or your own behavior. Are you guilty of self-sabotaging chances for recognition, more challenging assignments, and even advancement? When we fail to deal with minor issues, they can blossom into bad habits, feeing sorry for ourselves, and sloppy work that only serves to undermine our ability to to feel good about our work and contribution.

Putting Off the Vision that Calls to You

Do you see yourself in a different environment, accomplishing something personally important and fulfilling? Is there a completely different way of “being” that requires changing several aspects of your life, not just those related to work?

Waiting to fulfill a personal mission or ambition can make us feel small and less powerful. It’s not so much a matter of striking while the iron is hot, but rather acting in our own best interest to achieve what will make our spirits sour. When we deprive ourselves of that experience, our internal fire to be uniquely exceptional gets snuffed out over time.

It’s critical that you separate your self-worth from the very different consideration of whether a particular job or even profession is worth your time and effort. Satisfaction in life is more complex than simply “right” work, but finding the work that sustains and fuels personal passions can be the road to self-actualization. Knowing your true talents and unique contribution, is a gift to yourself and everyone around you.

Doing “It” for Someone Else Instead of Yourself

Do you secretly resent that all of your hard work supports the reputation or image of another? Do you fantasize about how you could do the very same work — or a slightly upgraded version of it — to support yourself and your family, leaving the emotional overhead of “boss” out of the picture.

In this case, you may consider self-employment. There are numerous other considerations if you are tempted in this direction. Working for oneself is not a bed of roses; ultimately you become responsible for every failure and success from timely delivery of paper and coffee supplies to satisfied clients or customers.

However, with complete and proper preparation and a solid team of support, there is no reason anyone why anyone can’t create a satisfying and profitable business.

Should I Stay or Should I Go?

If you are honest with yourself and you have considered the questions above, you may know immediately or at least feel deep down what you need to do.

You may discover or realize that it is actually you that needs a bit of alignment or total attitude readjustment. Take full advantage of professional development or enrichment opportunities, use career counseling… and actually use up all of your vacation days! Rather than stagnating in place, seek out information, challenge yourself to consider what else there is, and take very good care of yourself so that you’ll have the energy to either improve things where you are or prep the path to a new venue.

You may decide that a new job or self-employment is the path for you, though the timing may be a completely different matter. No matter how intense your current frustration, this is not the time for rash action. It sometimes feels like a great relief to abandon what drives us crazy, but the failure to prepare sufficiently for the change you dream about could have you on your knees begging for your old job back.

Enlisting the help of a coach can challenge you to navigate a course of self-discovery and determine your best options and next steps. Making any kind of change takes great effort and is stressful. You want to be at the top of your game, if or when you take the leap to something new.

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coaching, big fish, coach craft, quitting time, personal mission, right work

This week marks the one-year anniversary of my leaving a corporate communications job where I’d spent more than six years building an internal team of talented professionals, creating standards and protocols, and managing the creation and production of all kinds of publications and products.

That time in my life was rewarding and I’ll never regret my investment of time to learn, grow, and master new skills. Sometimes it was hard and I didn’t know if I would succeed or not. Sometimes I felt like quitting, but I persevered and experienced great satisfaction in eventually making things work smoothly and producing things on schedule.

I also don’t regret my choice to leave when I did. I spent a significant amount of time soul searching during the months leading up to my departure, and I knew when the time had come to move on to the next “right” thing for me.

My life has changed so much in one year, and I am glad I had the courage to make changes, try new things, and jump back into “beginner’s mind.” By putting myself on the line again, I’ve set things in motion that will produce big results—and satisfaction—in the near future. More importantly, I trusted my instincts and acted on my vision of the quality of life I wanted. Now I’m turning my dreams into reality.

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follow your bliss, self-employment

This quote from Gandhi is usually invoked to silence the complainer. You know, if you can’t put up, shut up.

Recently, I received the full quote, “Be the change you wish to see in the world,” at the bottom of an email from my Wednesday night yoga instructor, Tracy. Each time we begin and end a class, we sit in silence and think about our relationship to the natural world and the other creatures in it. It’s a good centering activity for remembering our mutual interdependence and our responsibility for shepherding the good in life.

Having this intention during each class helps me to work on the different poses with more concentration and success. And, I leave most classes humbled by my struggle with the physical practice and also the notion that there is so much more I could do to improve life for myself and others.

But then I’m quickly back in my usual day to day, regularly noting all of the things that are amiss in the world—our dependence on oil, global warming, corrupt politicians, inequity in health care delivery—and not doing much of anything about it all. Except grouse and complain.

Noticing What Needs Attention

Most days, I take my dogs for a circular four mile walk near our home. We begin and end on dirt roads, but the middle of our walk is along a relatively quiet paved road that connects Hillsboro and Washington, NH. It is a residential area, abutting woods and for the most part very pleasant.

However, months ago, out on my own on a slightly rainy day when I left the dogs at home, I counted over sixty bottles and cans, assorted plastic containers, and other stray articles along the route. The counting was simply an exercise to pass the time and a curiosity to me that this tranquil area could be so heavily “trashed” when so lightly trafficked. Angry that others could be so insensitive and selfish, I promised myself that I would get back out there within the week to clean up what I had noticed. I did not.

With three leashed pups in tow on subsequent walks, I let myself off the hook for picking anything up. It would be nearly impossible to carry a big trash bag while busy tending my charges. Besides, I would pick up stray plastic six-pack holders, so that a bird wouldn’t get its neck caught. And I’d also snare pieces of broken glass in the road so another dog or walker wouldn’t get cut. I was doing something. But each day I took that walk, I felt a tug of guilt over my failure to follow through on cleaning up the wake of castaways now buried beneath taller grass.

Vindication by Taking Responsibility

There is much in the world that seems outside of our control. By myself, I can’t change a culture where so many drivers consider their personal automobile space more important than the natural world. Alone, I can’t end teenage drinking. Without everyone agreeing to use fewer disposable products, I can’t stop roadside deposits of refuse.

We often complain on a general level that “the world is going to pot,” but we know to make any more noise would call attention to the fact we haven’t done much toward fixing the things that need attention. That’s a sneaky, contributing source to apathy. How can we stop intense consumerism, blind disregard for the safety of others or make other accountable for their actions in any meaningful, if we fail to take responsibility for what we see?

I can shake my fist and scream, “Don’t be such a pig!” Because it’s not my trash, and I obviously care about the natural world. But where does that get me? Once I see what needs to be done, it’s up to me alone to follow up in any way that I can. If I take action, then I can claim positive contribution and be more at peace knowing that I did make a difference. And then I really can raise a hornet’s nest of complaint, and urge others to do as I have.

Moving from Complaint to Action

So much of what is out of whack is within our control, if we break what seems large and overwhelming down into smaller tasks or projects. Or simply take responsibility for doing our small part.

It took me twice as long to walk that four-mile loop, when I finally stopped to pick up all the trash I’d been noticing for months. My haul was substantial: 60 aluminum cans, 10 whole or broken bottles, 20+ assorted plastic and paper containers, and an ugly pile of other tangible evidence that I noticed and did something about it.

Picking up trash along the side of the road may not seem like much. But every day I take that walk, I enjoy my surroundings that much more knowing that I’ve chosen to be an active steward to keep it clean. If I find a new can or bottle in the days ahead, it will be only one I need to pick up to preserve what is beautiful and shared by all.

Where is Your Next Move?

We can choose to buy and consume differently. We can tutor those who need help. We can teach others what we know how to do. We can give our time and money to causes that respond to our sorrow or outrage, and our sense of what the right thing is to create change. Through our actions—both large and small, we can be the change we want to see in the world.

Each of us notices what needs attention as we move through our days. We really do know what we can do make a difference.

Complacency is easy. What will you do?

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personal responsibility, change agent, taking action, change agent, taking action

Each of us determines the quality of each day of our lives. We get up and to a large degree choose how we will spend our time. Most of us must work, but we generally have choices about the kind of work. Many of us have family obligations, but we can decide how to fulfill them. We all have an amount of empty time each day, but how we fill it varies tremendously.

I believe it is in our power to fill each day with creative expression. I don’t mean that it’s necessary to physically “make” something, a tangible object to look at and say “I did that.” It’s possible, but I’m actually challenging you to live all of your life creatively, looking for opportunities to infuse your tasks, chores, and free time with imagination and enthusiasm.

Commit to Begin

A good place to start living creatively is to ask “How could I make my life more enjoyable?” You don’t always have to put fun at the end of the day or the project. Is there a way to infuse your day with better activities? Would it be more productive to do things in a different order? Would the very act of “mixing it up” contribute to new insights and perspective?

Decide that whatever is left of today will be more creative. Express yourself. Take a few minutes from your work to write in your journal or draft a haiku poem that reflects something that happened earlier today. Sing along with the radio, or turn it off and make up your own song as you drive home from work. Arrange some freshly cut flowers or add a new spice as you prepare dinner.

Trusting Imagination & Intuition

Life can be messy, complicated, and disappointing. And sometimes we have no control over what happens. But your instincts and your gut can guide you to the better choices, to more satisfaction, to greater success.

Too often we shut down the very clues that we receive naturally, because we don’t trust our innate sources of imagination or deep knowledge of what would improve our lives from moment to moment. We make things so much more difficult than they need to be.

Your already know what to do. When new ideas or images flash in your mind or you have an inkling about how to do something, trust those messages. To fully revel in what we imagine and allow ourselves to feel everything, is to live creatively.

No Need for Approval

Approval is subjective and a made up concept, just like rules. Others only have the power we give them to interpret or evaluate what we make, what we say, and what we do.

You get to decide if anyone is qualified to evaluate your desires, projects, and progress. If you don’t seek approval, you don’t have to concern yourself with letting others down or not meeting their expectations.

Taking Chances

Life builds on itself one layer at a time, just like words in a story, paint on a canvas, or experiences shared in a relationship. Standing still and never trying new things is to remain stagnant. And once you stop taking chances, you begin to die a little bit each day.

Add orange to the sweater you are knitting. Leave out the meat and add a new vegetable to your favorite casserole recipe. Sign up for a volunteer vacation in South America. Make up a game to occupy the downtime during a traffic jam. You can’t know if something will work out until you try it.

Let Go of the Outcome

Seeking perfection causes stress and tension. That isn’t to say that improving a skill or method is unfulfilling or unimportant. However, not everything you do or create has to be top notch. Seeking perfection can get in the way of enjoying an activity. That’s why so may people give up on learning how to play a musical instrument or a foreign language. There is no test when you enjoy learning for its own sake.

Doing can be its own reward with the end product, if there is one, wonderful enough. Most everyone deeply appreciates hand-made gifts. Think fresh baked biscuits for strawberry shortcake instead of those squishy sponge patties. I’d take home-baked every time.

Your Own Pleasure

We have the power to creatively infuse our lives with pleasure at almost every turn. You don’t need money to have rich and interesting friendships. You don’t need special equipment and supplies to make a delicious and even exotic meal for your family. You don’t need permission to wear a colorful scarf to work.

Seek out fancy as you move through your life. Enjoy the way things look and taste. Tell people how you feel. Do make things with your hands. Notice how your body feels as you move it different ways. Love that everything is simply a work in progress, that you can change your mind, and that you can make each day more beautiful.

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express your creativity,,,, creative expression, Instinct, imagination

When I read “Composing a Life” about 15 years ago, I was in the midst of some massive life changes. I was taken with Bateson’s?idea that life, like art, is improvisational.

The book compares the lives of Bateson–the daughter of?anthropologists Margaret Mead and George Bateson–and four of?her female friends, all accomplished professional women.

These women may have had some advantages not available to?everyone, but it doesn’t diminish the enjoyment of learning?about their multiple roles and varied life experiences and?recognizing opportunities in one’s own life.

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Composing A Life, Mary Catherine Bateson, life as improvisational art, life changes